Conspiracy Theories

Donut worry, be happy! - Unknown

Worry is rust upon the blade. - Henry Ward Hughes

People worry, and God smiles. - Hebrew Proverb

Worry is a waste of the imagination. - Unknown

Worry is the stomach's worst poison. - Alfred Nobel

B-Negative: A pessimist's blood type - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Adversity tests a man's true character. - Unknown

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. - Friedrich Engels

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. - Steven Wright

Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater. - William Hazlitt

The solar system has no anxiety about its reputation. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience. - Dilbert

Of all the things to worry about; the Wookie has no pants. - Mark Hamill

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. - Pierre Pachet

Worry is today's mice nibbling on tomorrow's cheese. - Unknown

All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God. - Oswald Chambers

Put your trust in the Lord and go ahead. Worry gets you no place. - Roy Acuff

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

A pessimist is someone who makes difficulties of his opportunities. - Unknown

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Most of the things you worry about won't even happen, so relax. - Unknown

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. - Aesop

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. - Kin Hubbard

Remorse goes to sleep during a prosperous period and wakes up in adversity. - Jean-Jacques Rosseau

Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money. - Johnny Cash

There's far more truth in the Book of Genesis than in the quantum theory. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity. - Seneca

Pessimists are usually kind. The gay, bubbling over, have no time for the pitiful. - Sean O'Faolain

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. - George Bernard Shaw

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. - Wayne Dyer

In times of prosperity friends will be plenty;
In time of adversity not one in twenty. - English Proverb

There's nothing so tragic as the murder of a beautiful theory by a gang of brutal facts. - Unknown

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

The theory of communism may be summed up in the single sentence: Abolition of private property. - Karl Marx

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. - Unknown

Take thought for the tomorrow, yes, careful thought and planning and preparation. But have no anxiety. - Dale Carnegie

Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself any more. - Albert Einstein

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. - Robert Benchley

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

Competition can damage self-esteem, create anxiety, and lead to cheating and hurt feelings. But so can romantic love. - Mariah Burton Nelson

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Adversity is sometimes hard upon a man; but for one man who can stand prosperity, there are a hundred that will stand adversity. - Elvis Presley

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

By adversity are wrought the greatest works of admiration, and all the fair examples of renown, out of distress and misery are grown. - Samuel Daniel

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay