#1 humor site on the 'net

Rack Slabbeth

Preparation for a Lamb BBQ this Easter

Rack Slabbeth thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Never trust sheep. - Ryan Stiles

Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

Uniform: Sheep's clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? - George Carlin

He who becomes a sheep is eaten by the wolf. - Greek Proverb

Lamb: An animal that gets more sheepish with age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

If you make yourselves sheep, the wolves will eat you. - Benjamin Franklin

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon

He that makes himself a sheep shall be eaten by a wolf. - Italian Proverb

Checkroom: Where the sheep are separated from the coats - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

Civilization is the lamb's skin in which barbarism masquerades. - T.B. Aldrich

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

If you can't sleep do not count the sheep, worship the Shepherd. - Unknown

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. - Clarence W Hall

BP: Company in Gulf of Mexico that turns your barbecue into a tarbecue. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

Goat: A lamb who has kidded himself into believing that he knows Wall Street - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

The lord may be smilin' on the sheeps, but they still wind up as lamb chops. - Archie Bunker

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

Ramnification: 1. To make someone feel sheepish; 2. What made Mary have a little lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. - Mark Twain

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. - Stendhal

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer

Ram: 1. Lamb's daddy; 2. The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work; 3. A sheep that always butts in. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. - Benjamin Franklin

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky


Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself