#1 humor site on the 'net

Pork Chops

Piggin' out over back bacon

Pork Chops thanks to Barry McCartney

Pork Chops thanks to Barry McCartney

Pork Chops thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

Bacon is meat candy. - Unknown

Miss Piggy is a boar. - Ed Lucaire

Racist Pig: A hog on wheels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Bacon, The source of all happiness. - Samuel V.D. Evans

That'll do, pig, that'll do. - Babe

A short life and a merry one at that! - Bartholomew Roberts

Either you like bacon or you're wrong. - Unknown

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

In Congress, it's all pork, all the time. - Jim Cooper

You can never put too much pork in your mouth. - Lewis Black

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Ike runs the country, and I turn the pork chops. - Mamie Eisenhower

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

March came in like a lion and went out like a ham. - Frank Nugent

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns) - Robert Byrne

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Day and night, their frail and crippled ships defy the tempest. - Jorge Luis Borges

I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

Bacon is going to save the world. I don't know how but it will. - Unknown

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

I'm carrying so much pork, I'm beginning to get trichinosis. - Phil Gramm

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Watch out when you're getting all you want. Fattening hogs ain't in luck. - Joel C Harris

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

I am guilty of asking the Senate for pork and proud of the Senate for giving it to me. - Ted Stevens

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough

Clams: I simply cannot imagine why anyone would eat something slimy served in an ashtray. - Miss Piggy

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch? - Fry

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

He is a rarity which I cannot but be fond of, as one would be of a hog that could fiddle, or a singing owl. - John W. Rochester

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

Cut out the free feed for the boss hogs at the public trough and the spill-over they've been leaving us. We'll manage. - Paul Harvey

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

Edible: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He who cannot eat horsemeat need not do so. Let him eat pork. But he who cannot eat pork, let him eat horsemeat. It's simply a question of taste. - Nikita Khrushchev

There have been a few occurrences where people in restaurants have sent me a rasher of bacon, which I am not going to turn my nose up at. I never let them down. - Nick Offerman

Breakfast is my specialty. I admit it's the easiest meal to cook, but I make everything with a twist, like lemon ricotta pancakes or bacon that's baked instead of fried. - Hugh Jackman

The difference between "involvement" and "commitment" is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was "involved" - the pig was "committed". - Unknown

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... - Homer Simpson

The wolf sniffed beneath the door to be sure this was a human cottage. The scent was undeniable. No pigs, except in bacon form. The wolf thought bacon form was a very sensible way for pigs to behave. - Vivian Vande Velde


Piano Dress

Hazards of Nose Picking

Mandela Perspective

I Want It All

Squid Squash

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Portrait Gallery

Boot Dog

Laundry Done

Rabbit Boost

Coke's Special Ingredients

Nanosecond Moments

Giraffic Park

Wine Karaoke

Other Door

Mistake Variations

Yoga Wine

Ukraine Skype

How To Cook A Deer

Colsed School

Moon Harvest

Peregrine Falcon

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Wedding