#1 humor site on the 'net

Pocket Change

The result of Covid lockdown

Pocket Change thanks to Keith Blake

Changing times indeed...

QuotaBills
Marry money. - Max Shulman

No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

Wisdom is better than gold or silver. - German Proverb

When money speaks, truth keeps silent. - Russian Proverb

A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

Too much money ain't enough money. - Lil Wayne

Virtue has never as respectable as money. - Mark Twain

There might be some credit in being jolly. - Charles Dickens

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

I find all this money a considerable burden. - J Paul Getty

Here's the money for our patentcy (patent). - Archie Bunker

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

The creditor hath a better memory than the debtor. - James Howell

Wind to a sailor is what money is to life on shore. - Sterling Hayden

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Soldiers win the battles and generals get the credit. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion. - Tony Hsieh

Yacht: 1. A floating debt; 2. Stretch limo of the seas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

Capitalism is using its money; we socialists throw it away. - Fidel Castro

Generosity begins with our recognition of our debt to others. - Unknown

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

If a little money does not go out, great money will not come in. - Chinese Proverb

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. - J Paul Getty

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy. - Kevin O'Leary

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

He can't help it - he was born with a silver foot in his mouth. - George HW Bush

I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. - Henry Miller

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Never get deeply in debt to someone who cried at the end of Scarface. - Robert Wieder

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that's poverty. - Joe E Lewis

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

The man who never has money to pay his debts has too much of something else. - J.L. Basford

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

The world is divided into people who do things - and people who get the credit. - Dwight Morrow

I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts. - Beverly Sills

Conventions are like coins, an easy way of dealing with the commerce of relations. - Freya Stark

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers

Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill. - Christopher Parker

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Critics search for ages for the wrong word which, to give them credit, they eventually find. - Peter Ustinov

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

Money itself doesn't interest me. But you must make money to go on building the business. - Rupert Murdoch

I'm proud to be paying taxes. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. - Arthur Godfrey

Some people use one half their ingenuity to get into debt, and the other half to avoid paying it. - George D Prentice

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

We shouldn't spend money on things we don't need when others don't have the things they do. - Peter Singer

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. - Ernest Haskins

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. - Satchel Paige

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings. I found out I have all the money I'll ever need if I die tomorrow. - Henny Youngman

No one has yet had the courage to memorialize his wealth on his tombstone. A dollar mark would not look well there. - Corra May Harris

Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit. - John Maxwell

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers


Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day

Peddle Sewing Machine Sink

You Never Call

Dawntastic

Work Rules

Navy Golf Course for Aircraft Carriers

Less Severe Inflation

Hotel Annex

King Stump

Diet Carbs

Home Made Limo

Cool Reading Room

Biggest Fan On The Block

Vintage Birth Control

Close Shave

Australian RV

Panorama Dog

Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation