Lockdown Advice

Fans don't boo nobodies. - Reggie Jackson

Being crazy isn't enough. - Dr. Seuss

Weird is a side-effect of awesome. - Unknown

Nature abhors a vacuum. And so do I. - Anne Gibbons

When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum. - Desmond Tutu

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. - Clint Eastwood

Every really new idea looks crazy at first. - Alfred North Whitehead

Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been. - Jimmy Buffet

If there is a supreme being, he's crazy. - Marlene Dietrich

I may be crazy but at least I have each other. - Unknown

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

You stand out more by being weird than fitting in. - Emma Tupa

Is that weird, taking my Louis Vuitton bag camping? - Jessica Simpson

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. - Mark Twain

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fan Club: Weapon used by a celebrity to beat off too many fans - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? - Niels Bohr

Age imprints more wrinkles in the mind than it does on the face. - Montaigne

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Within, I do not find wrinkles and used heart, but unspent youth. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead. - Charles Bukowski

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Unknown

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy. - Charles Manson

Do something. If it doesn't work, do something else. No idea is too crazy. - Jim Hightower

Isn't life a collection of weird quizzes with no answers to half the questions? - Pawan Mishra

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I can't stop moving. I'm like this weird insect. I can't sit still in real life. - Robin Wright

I enjoy my wrinkles and regard them as badges of distinction - I've worked hard for them! - Maggie Kuhn

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You may be right
I may be crazy.
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. - Billy Joel

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative. - Michael Losier

Beauty and ugliness disappear equally under the wrinkles of age; one is lost in them, the other hidden. - Jonathan P Senn

Pound's crazy. All poets are. They have to be. You don't put a poet like Pound in the loony bin. - Ernest Hemingway

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

In a weird kind of way, music has afforded me an idealism and perfectionism that I could never attain as me. - Billy Corgan

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

The easiest way to diminish the appearance of wrinkles is to keep your glasses off when you look in the mirror. - Joan Rivers

People are weird. When we find someone with weirdness that is compatible with ours, we team up and call it love. - Dr. Seuss

Silence speaks so much louder than screaming tantrums. Never give anyone an excuse to say that you're crazy. - Taylor Swift

If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old. - James A. Garfield

There is no such thing as a weird human being. It's just that some people require more understanding than others. - Tom Robbins

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. - Groucho Marx

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Thousands and thousands of guys applied to be on the show... Some of them were crazy. Some of them were so much into themselves. - Donald Trump

It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. - Casablanca

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

You can always trust information given you by people who are crazy; they have an access to truth not available through regular channels. - Sheila Ballantyne

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. What do we live for if not to make the world less difficult for each other? - George Eliot