#1 humor site on the 'net

In Perfect Harmony

Friends agree on how to properly wear a canine face mask

In Perfect Harmony thanks to Amanda Walkey

My friends are my estate. - Emily Dickinson

A selfie a day keeps the friends away. - Unknown

You always know how to make me Snickers. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

It is better to know how to learn than to know. - Dr. Seuss

A mother is a daughter's first best friend. - Unknown

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. - Thomas Jones

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. - Euripides

Ah, how good it feels! The hand of an old friend. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Forgiveness is the needle that knows how to mend. - Jewel

Every man is a volume if you know how to read him. - William Ellery Channing

A clown enriched knows neither relation nor friend. - French Proverb

Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

He that has learned to obey will know how to command. - Solon

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. - Frank Crane

The hardest part of growing up is learning how to wait. - Leo Rosten

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. - Aristotle

Sometimes the cost of integrity is the loss of a friend. - Jack McDevitt

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

If you pity rogues you are no great friend to honest men. - Thomas Fuller

A friend is someone who makes you feel totally acceptable. - Ene Riisna

A single rose can be my garden; a single friend, my world. - Leo Buscaglia

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. - Bryan White

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

Failure is just another way to learn how to do something right. - Marian Wright Edelman

A friend is one who sees through you and still enjoys the view. - Wilma Askinas

He will never have true friends who is afraid of making enemies. - William Hazlitt

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A flatterer is a friend who is your inferior, or pretends to be so. - Aristotle

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend. - Martin Luther King Jr.

A mother is your first friend, your best friend, your forever friend. - Unknown

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. - Thomas Aquinas

A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find, lucky to have. - Unknown

The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours. - Arthur Lacey

Tweeting is like sending out cool telegrams to your friends once a week. - Tom Hanks

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Mark Twain

Those who cannot give friendship will rarely receive it, and never hold it. - Dagobert D. Runes

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes. - Doug Larson

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

Intelligence is not to make no mistakes, but to see quickly how to make them good. - Bertolt Brecht

Being honest may not get you many friends, but it'll always get you the right ones. - John Lennon

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. - Martin Luther King Jr.

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

You cannot be a leader, and ask other people to follow you, unless you know how to follow, too. - Sam Rayburn

Never trust anyone who wants what you've got. Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion. - Eubie Blake

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. - Mark Twain

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship, mutual respect and enjoyment of each others' company. - John M Gottman

Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. - George S Patton

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' - Steven Wright

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love friends for their sake rather than for our own. - Charlotte Bronte

I don't know as I want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire him to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

You must act in your friend's interest whether it pleases him or not; the object of love is to serve, not to win. - Woodrow Wilson

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, and not wound. - Unknown

You are no more exempt from time's inexorable passing than Macbeth. Whether time is your friend or foe depends on how you use it. - Patricia Fripp

Science will never be able to reduce the value of a sunset to arithmetic. Nor can it reduce friendship or statesmanship to a formula. - Louis Orr

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Success in creating AI would be the biggest event in human history. Unfortunately, it might also be the last, unless we learn how to avoid the risks. - Stephen Hawking

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs