#1 humor site on the 'net

Hungry Child

Little Johnny liked shopping for womannequins

Hungry Child thanks to Howard Chapman

Attention shoppers: anyone missing a child in an orange coat, come to the Lingerie department. Your child is hungry.

QuotaBills
Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

Baking is science for hungry people. - Unknown

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It takes a whole village to raise a child. - African Proverb

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Back Four Seconds: What a clock does when it's hungry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Children are one third of our population and all of our future. - Unknown

Vaseball: A game of catch played by children in the living room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young. - Donald Trump

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman

The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children. - Jim Henson

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Let us sacrifice our today so that our children can have a better tomorrow. - Abdul Kalam

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. - Thomas Paine

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. - Unknown

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding. - Demetri Martin

If a child can't learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn. - Ignacio Estrada

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Did anybody ever consider that cannibalism would resolve both overpopulation and world hunger? - Jonathan Swift

When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good. - Joe Paterno

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. - Frederick Buechner

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

If the loss of shame was the child of secularization, the loss of reason is the child of pluralization. - Ravi Zacharias

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. - Dag Hammarskjold

Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. - G K Chesterton

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives. - Floyd Dell


Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland

Guarded Nights

Financial Meltdown

Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test