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Oh, I wish I wasn't an Oscar Mayer Weasel

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My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

We hold these semi-animal meetings. - Archie Bunker

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? - George Carlin

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Watchdog: Animal that keeps the best time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. - WC Fields

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Lamb: An animal that gets more sheepish with age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. - Unknown

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard Shaw

Contempt for animal life leads to contempt for human life. - Edward Abbey

The only meat I eat is from animals I've killed myself. - Mark Zuckerberg

Hamster: The animal least likely to be found in a synagogue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All animals are minor variations on a very particular theme. - Richard Dawkins

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

We're the only animal that wakes up and doesn't stretch. - Conor McGregor

I never act. I simply bring out the real animal that's in me. - Willem Dafoe

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

Animals don't hate, and we're supposed to be better than them. - Elvis Presley

Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. - Loren Eiseley

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem. - A A Milne

Animals, whom we have made our slaves, we do not like to consider our equal. - Charles Darwin

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

The musician is perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest. - Erik Satie

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Animals are simply sophisticated machines created by the infinitely skilled artisan, God. - Brian G Henning

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

I love sushi. But after too much of it, it just starts to taste like a dead animal that hasn't been cooked. - Amy Lee

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. - P J O'Rourke

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared. - Unknown

If an animal does something, we call it instinct. If we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence. - Will Cuppy

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. - Oscar Wilde

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Ugly animals have it rough. We're more likely to eat them or let them go extinct, and less likely to adopt them from animal shelters. - Joshua A Krisch

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway

Animals are like little angels sent to earth to teach us how to love. They don't get angry or play silly games. They are always there for us. - Whitney Mandel

Political correctness is about denial, usually in the weasel circumlocutory jargon which distorts and evades and seldom stands up to honest analysis. - George M Fraser


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