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Oh, I wish I wasn't an Oscar Mayer Weasel

Edible Pet Clothing thanks to Keith Blake

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My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

We hold these semi-animal meetings. - Archie Bunker

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? - George Carlin

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Only animals were not expelled from Paradise. - Milan Kundera

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. - Unknown

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

Contempt for animal life leads to contempt for human life. - Edward Abbey

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Hamster: The animal least likely to be found in a synagogue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For an animal person, an animal-less home is no home at all. - Cleveland Amory

All animals are minor variations on a very particular theme. - Richard Dawkins

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

We're the only animal that wakes up and doesn't stretch. - Conor McGregor

I never act. I simply bring out the real animal that's in me. - Willem Dafoe

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

Animals don't hate, and we're supposed to be better than them. - Elvis Presley

Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. - Loren Eiseley

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? - George Carlin

Animals, whom we have made our slaves, we do not like to consider our equal. - Charles Darwin

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Often, the human animal dresses terror in rage, and expresses both in a way unlike either. - Julius Lester

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

There are a lot of things I learned from animals. One was that they couldn't hiss or boo me. - James Dean

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals. - Leo Tolstoy

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice. - Stephen Covey

I love sushi. But after too much of it, it just starts to taste like a dead animal that hasn't been cooked. - Amy Lee

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. - Homer Simpson

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. - P J O'Rourke

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared. - Unknown

If an animal does something, we call it instinct. If we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence. - Will Cuppy

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. - Oscar Wilde

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway

Animals are like little angels sent to earth to teach us how to love. They don't get angry or play silly games. They are always there for us. - Whitney Mandel

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison

Political correctness is about denial, usually in the weasel circumlocutory jargon which distorts and evades and seldom stands up to honest analysis. - George M Fraser


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