#1 humor site on the 'net

Drift Racing

Cars made for Tokyo drifting

Drift Racing thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Bad Driver: The person you run into. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In the race for quality, there is no finish line. - David T. Kearns

Racing is life. Everything else is just... waiting. - Steve McQueen

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

I'd give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward! - Archie Bunker

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

Selfishness is the greatest curse of the human race. - William E. Gladstone

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Civilization is a race between education and catastrophe. - H G Wells

The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race. - Susan Saint James

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

I'm in the turtle's race. My journey is a marathon. - Omari Hardwick

Belonging has always been a fundamental driver of humankind. - Brian Chesky

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

In Japanese sushi restaurants, a lot of sushi chefs talk too much. - Masa Takayama

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle I have hope for the human race. - H G Wells

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

Once upon a time, forests were repositories of magic for the human race. - John Burnside

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

In the Moscow Olympics, Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champion's race. - David Coleman

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

And where does the power come from to see the race to its end? It comes from within. - Eric Liddell

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. - Jimmy Fallon

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Somewhere in the world someone is training when you are not. When you race him, he will win. - Tom Fleming

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere. - C S Lewis

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. - Damon Runyon

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

In the marathon a crazy athlete can just keep pushing from the beginning; at a championship you don't need a time just to win the race. - Haile Gebrelassie

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend