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Cow Farts

Farm Flatulence takes on a whole new level

Cow Farts thanks to Tom Esler

QuotaBills
Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stop and smell the roses. - Phoebe Moll

Each day has a color, a smell. - Chitra B. Divakaruni

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Milk many cows but make your own butter. - Erwin Lutzer

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. - Apocalypse Now

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

Epochodor: The smell of history found at museums - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Flour: A word by any other name would smell as wheat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one. - Elbert Hubbard

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Stable: A command given to make a male cow remain in one place - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. - Robert Byrne

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9. - Muppets

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Two things are important for missionaries: (1) they have a sense of humour; and (2) the have no sense of smell. - Phil Callaway

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Real angels don't have gossamer white robes and cherubic skin. They have calloused hands and smell of the days' sweat. - Richard Evans

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


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