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Cow Farts

Farm Flatulence takes on a whole new level

Cow Farts thanks to Tom Esler

QuotaBills
Stop and smell the roses. - Phoebe Moll

Thank heavens it hath no smell. - George F. Handel

In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. - Apocalypse Now

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Epochodor: The smell of history found at museums - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one. - Elbert Hubbard

The best smell in the world is that man that you love. - Jennifer Aniston

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it. - Rudyard Kipling

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9. - Muppets

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Rectitude: The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Real angels don't have gossamer white robes and cherubic skin. They have calloused hands and smell of the days' sweat. - Richard Evans

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


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