#1 humor site on the 'net

Commandment Keepers

Decalogue Discernment - keeping the Old Testament Law

Commandment Keepers thanks to Barry Bennett

The Ten Commandments (aka Decalogue), are a set of biblical principles that play a fundamental role in Judaism and Christianity, appearing twice in the Hebrew Bible, at Deuteronomy 5:6–21 and Exodus 20:2–17.

QuotaBills
All of nature is God's art. - Dante

Profit: Religious guy who talks to God - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God. - Thomas Jefferson

God help those who do not help themselves. - Addison Mizner

The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms

The Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God. - Donald Trump

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

God forgives those who invent what they need. - Lillian Hellman

If God is dead then everything is justifiable. - Fyodor Dostoevsky

God always strives together with those who strive. - Aeschylus

What you do in secret is on Public Display before God. - Jim Hughes

Every worldview has to bring together reason and faith. - Ravi Zacharias

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words. - St. Francis of Assisi

The day before me is fraught with God knows what horrors. - John Kennedy Toole

Whatever I cannot do for God's glory must be avoided. - A.W. Pink

All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust. - J.M. Barrie

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof. - Kahlil Gibran

Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God. - Diana Robinson

The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. - George Bernard Shaw

Without faith, a man can do nothing; with it, all things are possible. - William Osler

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. - Genesis 1:31

Through suffering we realize how desperately we need God's presence. - Ravi Zacharias

God made you a masterpiece. Be blessed, secure, disciplined and equipped. - Joel Osteen

Stewardship is the act of organizing your life so that God can spend you. - Lynn A Miller

If there's one thing I know, it's that God does love a good joe-k. - Hugh Elliott

It's not dying for faith that's so hard, it's living up to it. - William Makepeace Thackeray

If I owe Smith ten dollars and God forgives me, that doesn't pay Smith. - Robert G Ingersoll

Working constantly may be visible proof that deep inside we do not trust God. - Bill Bright

Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. - William Temple

There is only one Christ, Jesus, one faith. All else is a dispute over trifles. - Queen Elizabeth I

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

I am afraid the clergyman's God is often the head of the clerical profession. - William R Inge

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

If you are not willing to be used by God, ask God to make you willing to be willing. - F.B. Meyer

I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God's help I shall succeed. - Vincent Van Gogh

Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking. - Khalil Gibran

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

Most God-ordained dreams die because we are not willing to do something that seems illogical. - Mark Batterson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I clearly have done things that were wrong. I've clearly had to seek God's forgiveness. - Newt Gingrich

Our intellect is not intended to be an end in itself, but only a means to the very mind of God. - Ravi Zacharias

Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. - Dean Koontz

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

Man is more interesting than men. God made him and not them in his image. Each one is more precious than all. - Andre Gide

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. - Brooks Atkinson

Stay positive in every situation and everything you do; never stop trying. Have faith, don't stop due to failure. - Anurag P Ray

The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us. - C S Lewis

Faith isn't about always having all the answers. Faith is about believing that God will always come through for you. - Unknown

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

When faith replaces doubt, when selfless service eliminates selfish striving, the power of God brings to pass His purposes. - Thomas S Monson

We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade, the presence of God. The world is crowded with him. He walks everywhere incognito. - C S Lewis

When you inhale, you are taking the strength from God. When you exhale, it represents the service you are giving to the world. - B.K. Iyengar

I don't like to hear cut and dried sermons. No - when I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees. - Abraham Lincoln

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in. - George Washington Carver

The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison


Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend