#1 humor site on the 'net

Book Reader Seating

Reader's Choice in the courtyard

Book Reader Seating thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

A big book is a big bore. - Callimachus

World History: Scrap book - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Books don't need batteries. - Nadine Gordimer

No furniture so charming as books. - Sydney Smith

There is no friend as loyal as a book. - Ernest Hemingway

Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown

A multitude of books distracts the mind. - Seneca

Never read a book that is not a year old. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A good title is the title of a successful book. - Raymond Chandler

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first. - Chinese Proverb

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Preface: That part of a book which is never read. - Unknown

If you think you have it tough, read history books. - Bill Maher

I have put out my books and now my house has a soul. - Cicero

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

In the book of life, the answers aren't on the back. - Charlie Brown

That Book, sir, is the Rock on which our Republic rests. - Andrew Jackson

The more sins you confess, the more books you will sell. - American Proverb

Everything comes to him who waits. Except a loaned book. - Kin Hubbard

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Arpeggio: The story book kid with the big nose that grows - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Like the Good Book says, "Patience is a virgin." - Archie Bunker

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. - Mark Twain

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. - Steven Wright

If you stand up and be counted, someone will take your seat. - Unknown

Thinnest Book in the World: 'What Men Know About Women' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The success that the Tolkien books had redefined modern fantasy. - George R.R. Martin

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page. - St. Augustine

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you. - Marsha Norman

The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes. - Agatha Christie

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. - Ernest Hemingway

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

A mere scholar, who knows nothing but books, must be ignorant even of them. - William Hazlitt

Books are no different from goats - they enjoy an afternoon out on the lawn. - Kate Bernheimer

Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know - and he always wore his seat belt. - Ice Cube

Committee work is like a soft chair - easy to get into but hard to get out of. - Kenneth J Shively

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

It often happens that the quotations constitute the most valuable part of a book. - Vicesimus Knox

The most technologically efficient machine that man has ever invented is the book. - Northrop Frye

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain

Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes. - John Le Carre

You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them. - Arnold Palmer

Yearbook: A book containing student pictures that will keep getting nerdier as the years go by - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. - George Burns

Book Review: A brief but informative essay that spares readers the ordeal of digesting an actual book - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

A university is an institution that has two thousand seats in the classrooms and eighty thousand in the stadium. - Unknown

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' - Steven Wright

Book: A depository of knowledge which a student will try to stay awake long enough to read the night before finals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is books that teach us to refine our pleasures when young, and to recall them with satisfaction when we are old. - Leigh Hunt

I have written a book. This will come as quite a shock to some. They didn't think I could read, much less write. - George W. Bush

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. - Groucho Marx

When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before. - Clifton Fadiman

Laughter is healing and helpful and fun, and I see my role as an entertainer, and I want readers to leave my books smiling. - Gail Carriger

Accountant: 1. A noble insect; 2. A dutiful book balancer whose role within a corporation is to protect it from creative ideas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

The remedy for life's broken pieces is not classes, workshops or books. Don't try to heal the broken pieces. Just forgive. - Iyanla Vanzant

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich


Baby Scan

Redneck Mirror

Skateboard Statue

WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light

Bee Safe

Hummers Only Look Tough

Tactical Texas

Defence Budget Cuts

Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind