#1 humor site on the 'net

All Day For Naught

Ever had one of these days?

All Day For Naught thanks to Chris Kane

QuotaBills
All art is quite useless. - Oscar Wilde

A wise man once said nothing. - Unknown

Juggernaut: Jug full of nothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A penny saved is a penny wasted. - Al Diamond

Nothing happens unless at first a dream. - Carl Sandburg

Nature creates nothing without a purpose. - Aristotle

I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. - William Shakespeare

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Nothing ends nicely, that's why it ends. - Tom Cruise

A toad does not run in the daytime for nothing. - Chinua Achebe

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. - WC Fields

There is no such thing as something for nothing. - Napoleon Hill

Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose. - Baltasar Gracian

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - James Keller

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. - Jane Austen

Nothing in the world is irreversible, not even capitalism. - Fidel Castro

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward. - Spanish Proverb

Nothing is more dangerous than to be blinded by prosperity. - John Calvin

Nothing is there more friendly to a man than a friend in need. - Plautus

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know. - Pema Chodron

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice. - Joseph Addison

Every day that you haven't learned something new is a wasted day. - Joe-kster

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Freedom (n.): To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing. - Ayn Rand

Symptoms, then are in reality nothing but the cry from suffering organs. - Jean-Martin Charcot

And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned. - Homer Simpson

Without passion you don't have energy, without energy you have nothing. - Donald Trump

There is nothing that makes its way more directly into the soul than beauty. - Joseph Addison

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

There is nothing deep down inside us except what we have put there ourselves. - Richard Rorty

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome. - Samuel Johnson

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. - Aristotle

There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say - unless you insist on saying it. - Unknown

There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins

Numbers have neither substance, nor meaning, nor qualities. They are nothing but marks. - Hermann Weyl

From such crooked wood as that which man is made of, nothing straight can be fashioned. - Immanuel Kant

The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man. - Thomas Carlyle

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. - Unknown

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous. - Thornton Wilder

I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else. - John Keats

If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride, because it shows you trust in your own powers. - Mother Teresa

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. - Thomas Jefferson

Things are always in transition. Nothing every sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. - Pema Chodron

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen

Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye. - Mary Shelley

There is nothing more inspiring than having a mind unfold before you. Let people teach who have a calling. It is never just a job. - Abraham Kaplan

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

With so much to be aware of, awareness bracelets have reverted to signifying nothing more than color itself. Idealism has devolved into fashion. - Timothy Noah

We went down into the silent garden. Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. Everything is transfixed, only the light moves. - Leonora Carrington

The tragedy of disbelieving God is not that a person ends up believing in nothing. Alas, it is much worse - a person may end up believing in anything. - G K Chesterton


Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton