#1 humor site on the 'net

Woke Up Early

Some people have no manners...

Woke Up Early thanks to Aundrea Borletti

QuotaBills
Wake up from your fiestas! - Archie Bunker

Worry is rust upon the blade. - Henry Ward Hughes

Manners are love in a cool climate. - Quentin Crisp

Why did I wake up in a garbage can? - Nicole Polizzi

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. - Soren Kierkegaard

Adversity is the first path to truth. - Lord Byron

There is no education like adversity. - Disraeli

Adversity introduces a man to himself. - Unknown

Adversity tests a man's true character. - Unknown

Be willing to access joy in the face of adversity. - C.W. Metcalf

Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater. - William Hazlitt

I wake up laughing every day. I get a kick out of life. - Bruce Willis

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist. - Robert G. Allen

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

When the situation is hopeless, there's nothing to worry about. - Edward Abbey

Friendship, of itself a holy tie, is made more sacred by adversity. - Charles C. Colton

In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. - J. Churton Collins

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

Only ugly people need manners. The pretty can get away with anything. - Evelyn Waugh

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize. - Muhammad Ali

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has. - Billy Graham

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. - Dale Carnegie

Prosperity makes friends and adversity tries them. A true friend is one soul in two bodies. - Aristotle

Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back. - Thomas Sowell

My future starts when I wake up every morning. Every day I find something creative to do with my life. - Miles Davis

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn't make me stronger. - Lou Holtz

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

By adversity are wrought the greatest works of admiration, and all the fair examples of renown, out of distress and misery are grown. - Samuel Daniel

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster


Enjoy The Moment

Dead Hand

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Stop The Pipeline

Fake Brakes

Business In Front, Party In Back

Co-Pilot Seat

Beard Fashion

Canadian Parking

Car Wrecker

Redneck Faucet

Feather Cleaning

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Tough Love

Easter Island

Flood Bridge

Don't Count On It

Upended Water Buffalo

Face Heater

Leap Year Shirt

World's Greatest Typo

Icehenge

Found It!