#1 humor site on the 'net

Wise Doctor

Interpreting a Doctor's handwriting

Wise Doctor thanks to Keith Blake

Wise Doctor thanks to Keith Blake

Wise Doctor thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Camouflage: Wise guise. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wisdom begins in wonder. - Socrates

Wisdom is found only in truth. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Cunning is the dwarf of wisdom. - William Alger

I'd rather be funny than wise. - Dennis Miller

In youth and beauty wisdom is rare. - Homer

Patience is the companion of wisdom. - St. Augustine

Doubt is often the beginning of wisdom. - M. Scott Peck

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be happy. It's one way of being wise. - Colette

Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom. - Francis Bacon

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

Prosperity tries the souls even of the wise. - Sallust

Wise is he who collects the wisdom of others. - Juan Guerra Caceras

Much wisdom often goes with the fewest words. - Sophocles

Fools look to tomorrow; wise men use tonight. - Scottish Proverb

So wise so young, they say, do never live long. - William Shakespeare

A wise traveler never despises his own country. - Carlo Goldoni

Of all parts of wisdom the practice is the best. - John Tillotson

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. - William Blake

Even in wise men there is more folly than wisdom. - Sebastien Chamfort

Common sense is wisdom with its sleeves rolled up. - Kyle Farnsworth

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. - Aeschylus

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

To live is to dream, and to dream pleasantly is to be wise. - Frederick Schiller

It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools. - Spanish Proverb

He who knows others is learned; he who knows himself is wise. - Lao-Tzu

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

Wise people learn when they can.
Fools learn when they must. - Arthur Wellesley Wellington

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. - Jonathan Swift

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Wisdom is becoming competent with regard to the realities of life. - Gerhard von Rad

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The misfortune of the wise is better than the prosperity of the fool. - Epicurus

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Ignorant men raise questions that wise men answered a thousand years ago. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Ignorance and bungling with love are better than wisdom and skill without. - Henry David Thoreau

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

It is wise to apply the refined oil of politeness to the mechanism of friendship. - Colette

The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart. - Benjamin Franklin

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. - H L Mencken

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose. - Mark Twain

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato

Knowledge alone is not enough. It must be leavened with magnanimity before it becomes wisdom. - Adlai E. Stevenson

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom. - Theodore Isaac Rubin

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? - T S Eliot

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left. - Marilyn Monroe

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us that the less we use our power, the greater it will be. - Thomas Jefferson

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. - Frederic Amiel

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

If you decide to stop flying, it is wise to hang on to your wings, for you may need them one day, when one of your other qualities turns dangerous. - Am Leach

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


Elephant Bus

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot

Restroom Fragrance

Word Puzzle Clock

Scenic Western Pennsylvania

Free Nobel Peace Prize

Teach Our Children Well

Stair Substitute

Solar System Watch