#1 humor site on the 'net

WipeOut

Beware of using too much toilet paper

WipeOut thanks to Barry McCartney

It'll get you in the end...

QuotaBills
The bad guys always get a vote. - Navy saying

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Vaccine: A microbe with his face washed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Voters want a fraud they can believe in. - Will Durst

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

A penny saved is a Congressional oversight. - Hal Luyah

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

Bulldozing: Going to sleep during a political speech. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Sudafed: Brought litigation against a government official - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

I don't go around signin' no political documentaries. - Archie Bunker

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least. - Robert Byrne

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing. - Bernard Baruch

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it. - Laurence J Peter

I learned a long time ago in Hollywood that the only person I should vote for is myself. - Jack Nicholson

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. - Winston Churchill

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves. - Thomas Jefferson

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? - Marion Barry

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks. - Douglas Jerrold

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist

Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician