#1 humor site on the 'net

WipeOut

Beware of using too much toilet paper

WipeOut thanks to Barry McCartney

It'll get you in the end...

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Johnny Cash: A dime for the pay toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against. - WC Fields

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Self-government won't work without self-discipline. - Paul Harvey

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Government cannot and must not replace private initiative. - Kim Campbell

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't go around signin' no political documentaries. - Archie Bunker

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. - Charles de Gaulle

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open mouth. - Adlai Stevenson

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. - P.J. O'Rourke

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

Whenever a fellow tells me he's bipartisan, I know he's going to vote against me. - Harry S Truman

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. - Winston Churchill

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

Idealism is like a castle in the air if it is not based on a solid foundation of social and political realism. - Claude McKay

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks. - Douglas Jerrold

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. - Benjamin Franklin

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Papers say: 'Congress is deadlocked and can't act.' I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country. - Will Rogers

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

In politics, as in womanizing, failure is decisive. It sheds its retrospective gloom on earlier endeavor which at the time seemed full of promise. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Despicable Tree

Catch of the Day

What Are You Doing?

Can You Dig It

Speaking in Tongues for Animals

Baseball Photobomb

Great Quotes (B)

Wayne's Fish

If You're Happy And You Know It

Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers