Where Was I

I was a kindergarten dropout. - Kiernan Shipka

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Procrastination is the thief of time. - Edward Young

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

An art thief is a man who takes pictures. - George Carlin

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. - William Shakespeare

Don King is a big ... thief, and everyone in this room knows it. - Donald Trump

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

He was always late on principle; his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time. - Oscar Wilde

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell