Wedding Games

Marry money. - Max Shulman

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Veiled Threat: When your girlfriend hints at a wedding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I only hope when I have my own family that every day I see a little more of my father in me. - Keith Urban

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Mothers are like glue, Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together. - Susan Gale

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo