Wedding Games

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Families are like puzzles. They fit together in a certain way, and if one piece is missing, it throws everything off. - Richard Schiff

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Nothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families. - Tim Allen

If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey

The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey