Wanting Women

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me. - Bette Midler

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

When I passed 40 I dropped pretence, 'cause men like women who got some sense. - Maya Angelou

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue. - Plato

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren