Wanting Women

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs. - Noel Coward

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

The smiles of a pretty woman are the tears of the purse. - Italian Proverb

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

My husband's idea of a good night out is a good night in. - Maureen Lipman

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sometimes I consider myself as a feminist, whatever that means. - Sarah Palin

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like pate. - Margaret Atwood

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Except for a few guitar chords, everything I've learned in my life that is of any value I've learned from women. - Glenn Frey

There's something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. - R G Moon

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

It wasn't until we got out first office in Palo Alto where things became more like a company. We never went into this wanting to build a company. - Mark Zuckerberg