#1 humor site on the 'net

Timber Supplier

Finding the source of twisted and warped lumber

Timber Supplier thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Hunger will lead a fox out of the forest. - Poland Proverb

Love for me is like a pretzel. Twisted and salty. - Emmy Gay

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" - George Carlin

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. - John Muir

If you tell a joe-k in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joe-k? - Steven Wright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Knowledge and timber shouldn't be much used till they are seasoned. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. - Haruki Murakami

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. - Willa Cather

It's amazing what you can do with an E in A-Level art, a twisted imagination and a chainsaw. - Damien Hirst

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

Humility before the flower at the timber line is the gate which gives access to the path up the open fell. - Dag Hammarskjold

I tend to play mostly villains and twisted people. Unsavory guys. I think it's my face, the way I look. - Christopher Walken

Old and new make the warp and woof of every moment. There is no thread that is not a twist of these two strands. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Only a genius can say these four words, four times really fast without getting tongue twisted: eye, yam, stew, peed - Unknown

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

I'm always astonished by a forest. It makes me realise that the fantasy of nature is much larger than my own fantasy. - Gunter Grass

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

There comes a stage at which a man would rather die cleanly by a bullet than by the unknown terror of the phantom in the forest. - Tahir Shah

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left?
Five, because there's a difference between deciding and doing. - Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt


Chicken Rider

ManHole

Hurricane Irene

Day At The Beach

Luxury Bungalows

Baby Brew

Kids Klub

Sheep Dog Distancing

Candy Hairess

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Bag Hang-Up

Dog Spa

Pacman Skeleton

Young Rock Star

Shoplifter Warning

Eavestrough Cat

Bobbie Tickle

Exhausting or Amewzing?

World's First Hard Hat

Cup on the Edge

British Gas Meter

Hot Summer Days

Senior Protesters

Microsoft Software Upgrade