#1 humor site on the 'net

Thanks For Noticing

Your noticing has been noted and reported

Thanks For Noticing thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Habits are like supervisors that you don't notice. - Hannes Messemer

I've been noticing gravity since I was very young. - Cameron Diaz

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Ever notice that the hardness of the butter increases with the softness of the bread? - Unknown

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action. - Al Batt

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Although you hadn't asked why, it had less to do with you not noticing than with you not wanting to hear the answer. - Jodi Picoult

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. - H L Mencken

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Enjoy The Moment

Dead Hand

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Stop The Pipeline

Fake Brakes

Business In Front, Party In Back

Co-Pilot Seat

Beard Fashion

Canadian Parking

Car Wrecker

Redneck Faucet

Feather Cleaning

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Tough Love

Easter Island

Flood Bridge

Don't Count On It

Upended Water Buffalo

Face Heater

Leap Year Shirt

World's Greatest Typo

Icehenge

Found It!