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Tested Positive

Viral Doctor humour for Canadian Political adherents and TP hoarders

Tested Positive thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
That virus is a pussycat. - Peter Duesberg

Has Beans: Used coffee grounds - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Focus: What Canadian politicians lack. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open mouth. - Adlai Stevenson

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

There are no crooked politicians in America. They've legalized their thievery. - Frank Dane

The indignation of politicians is NOT a good measure of the gravity of any situation. - Paul Harvey

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. - Tom Robbins

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

People want change but not too much change. Finding that balance is tricky for every politician. - Eleanor Clift

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Demagogue: A politician who can rock the boat and persuade everyone else that they're in a terrible storm - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - Jose Maria de Eca de Queiroz

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov


Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer