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Tested Positive

Viral Doctor humour for Canadian Political adherents and TP hoarders

Tested Positive thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Your messages are all the coffee I need. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Equine Influenza: A viral respiratory disease which causes flu-like symptoms in horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I don't want a flu jab. I like getting flu. It gives me something else to complain about. - David Letterman

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. - Unknown

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

We're at a point in history where everyone needs to pay attention to politics. Too much is at stake for us to be apathetic. - Kevin Costner

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


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