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Tested Positive

Viral Doctor humour for Canadian Political adherents and TP hoarders

Tested Positive thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An honest politician is one who when he's bought stays bought. - Simon Cameron

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open mouth. - Adlai Stevenson

Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. - Henry Kissinger

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. - Tom Robbins

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

Calculating how much carbon is absorbed by which forests and farms is a tricky task, especially when politicians do it. - Donella Meadows

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. - Unknown

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher


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