Tabasco Sanitizer

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. - Maya Angelou

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart