Tabasco Sanitizer

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Germ: A little bug with influence - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness. - Pearl S. Buck

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. - Pierre Pachet

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus. - Joshua Lederberg

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha