#1 humor site on the 'net

Swimming Pool Reopening

Social distancing parts the waters

Swimming Pool Reopening thanks to Leon Metonskin

QuotaBills
I need Vitamin SEA. - Unknown

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

Where there is a sea there are pirates. - Greek Proverb

Ampersand: Sand you won't find at a beach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus

Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

It is sweet to view the sea when standing on the shore. - Archippus

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. - Phyllis Diller

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? - George Carlin

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

Love: An ocean of emotions surrounded entirely by expenses. - Thomas R Dewar

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

Mother is the home we come from. She is nature, soil, ocean. - Erich Fromm

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

I might survive a few days at sea. Probably not as long as Pi. - Suraj Sharma

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sharks are the lions of the sea. They glamorize the oceanic glory. - Munia Khan

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

Some people could look at a mud puddle and see an ocean with ships. - Zora N Hurston

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

The landlocked sea is Greek or Roman, the boundless sea is Portuguese. - Fernando Pessoa

The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean. - Laird Hamilton

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffett

Let me be an ocean and let me kiss you as many times as the ocean kisses the shore. - Debasish Mridha

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

The ocean, the desert, and the jungle are the last strongholds and resorts of peace. - P C Wren

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus. - Joshua Lederberg

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

All great calamities on land and sea have been traced to inspectors who did not inspect. - Kin Hubbard

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

How do we persevere when we're adrift at sea, severed from wherever or whomever is our 'home'? - Lois Anderson

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. - Kahlil Gibran

I don't trust the ocean, either; it would kill me as soon as not. It doesn't mean I'm afraid of it. - Maggie Stiefvater

My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? - David Mitchell

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. - Steven Wright

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. - Mohandas Gandhi

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast

Motorcycle Campers

Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie

Wheelchair Mower

How To Fail at Photoshopping Pictures

Life Expectancy by Age

Construction Clouds

It's Been A Good Day

Worst Aid

Dyslexic Camper