Stay Away From Me!

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me. - Ashley Wallis

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright