#1 humor site on the 'net

Social Distancing Fine

Not a reasonable excuse to be outside

Social Distancing Fine thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

Contracting COVID19 is not a death sentence. So, maintain social distancing and wash your hands frequently. - Abhijit Naskar

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli


Ice Cream Rose

Wedding Pound Cake

Parking Justice

Is This Really Happening?!

The Explanation

High Strung Violinist

Deodorized Pads

Leteracy Night

Redneck Baby Carriage

Stealth Readers

Good Stuff Or Else

Productive Computers

Poodle Power

Trust Issues

Bacon Soda Sales

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

My Time

Lerts

Great White Socks

That's Not A Bagpipe!

Paint Protection

Balanced Writer

Jolly Good Recovery

Tylenol Ban