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Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

A wig is a wig is a wig. - Billy Zane

There is no friend as loyal as a book. - Ernest Hemingway

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. - Benjamin Franklin

Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx

You will always be my best friend - you know too much! - Unknown

The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb. - German Proverb

Love your enemy. But don't forget he is not your friend. - Paulo Coelho

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. - Groucho Marx

You might not know it, but this is your best friend right here. - Matt Hughes' father

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself. - Frances Weller

A flatterer is a friend who is your inferior, or pretends to be so. - Aristotle

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. - Aristotle

What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. - Hecato

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Our friend Chewy doesn't speak much, but he chews a lot of tobacco so we call him Chewbacco. - Michael Diack

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend. - Mark Twain

When you start with an insult and end with a compliment, most people only remember where you started. - Faydra D. Fields

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm shy in person - so afraid to confess my love - I need a go-between - our mutual friend, the Moon. - John Geddes

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere. - Ali ibn-Abi-Talib

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better. - Plutarch

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality. - Arnold Bennett

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure they think he is getting old. - Washington Irving

Sometimes me think, 'What is Friend?' and then me say, 'Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.' - Cookie Monster

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

If you go out looking for friends, you're going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere. - Zig Ziglar


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