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Redneck Genealogy Lesson

Only a Redneck can become his own Grandpa!

Redneck Genealogy Lesson thanks to Jack Byrd

I'm My Own Grandpa - Ray Stephens

Many, many years ago when I was 23
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be;
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.

This made my Dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
And now my daughter was my mother ‘cause she was my father’s wife;
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my Uncle, though it made me very sad…
For if he were my Uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter, who was of course my step-mother.

Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son;
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it, nearly drives me wild!
Because now I have become the strangest case you ever saw -
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

I’m my own grandpa,
I’m my own grandpa,
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so, but
I’m my own grandpa.

QuotaBills
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

He's breaking his grandpa's sacrolificat. - Archie Bunker

Leading your family is a lot tougher than basketball. - Giannis Antetokounmpo

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

Family means putting your arms around each other and being there. - Barbara Bush

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

I only hope when I have my own family that every day I see a little more of my father in me. - Keith Urban

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Mothers are like glue, Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together. - Susan Gale

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy. - Nicolas Cage

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


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Praying & Preying Mantis

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Swimming Pool Reopening

WipeOut

Canadian Lemmings

Pantastic Crop

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World's Largest Underpants

Amplified Truck

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Exhaust-Free Park

Biker Faucet

Big Card Game

Locked Up Bull Elk

Today's Unemployment Line