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Redneck Genealogy Lesson

Only a Redneck can become his own Grandpa!

Redneck Genealogy Lesson thanks to Jack Byrd

I'm My Own Grandpa - Ray Stephens

Many, many years ago when I was 23
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be;
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.

This made my Dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
And now my daughter was my mother ‘cause she was my father’s wife;
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my Uncle, though it made me very sad…
For if he were my Uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter, who was of course my step-mother.

Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son;
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it, nearly drives me wild!
Because now I have become the strangest case you ever saw -
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

I’m my own grandpa,
I’m my own grandpa,
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so, but
I’m my own grandpa.

QuotaBills
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana

He's breaking his grandpa's sacrolificat. - Archie Bunker

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

Leading your family is a lot tougher than basketball. - Giannis Antetokounmpo

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

I only hope when I have my own family that every day I see a little more of my father in me. - Keith Urban

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Mothers are like glue, Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together. - Susan Gale

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. - Jane Howard

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


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