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Redneck Genealogy Lesson

Only a Redneck can become his own Grandpa!

Redneck Genealogy Lesson thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

I'm My Own Grandpa - Ray Stephens

Many, many years ago when I was 23
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be;
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.

This made my Dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
And now my daughter was my mother ‘cause she was my father’s wife;
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my Uncle, though it made me very sad…
For if he were my Uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter, who was of course my step-mother.

Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son;
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it, nearly drives me wild!
Because now I have become the strangest case you ever saw -
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

I’m my own grandpa,
I’m my own grandpa,
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so, but
I’m my own grandpa.

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

Leading your family is a lot tougher than basketball. - Giannis Antetokounmpo

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

Passing Tone: Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Mothers are like glue, Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together. - Susan Gale

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. - Jane Howard

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


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