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Redneck Genealogy Lesson
Only a Redneck can become his own Grandpa!
I'm My Own Grandpa - Ray Stephens
Many, many years ago when I was 23
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be;
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.
This made my Dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
And now my daughter was my mother ‘cause she was my father’s wife;
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my Uncle, though it made me very sad…
For if he were my Uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter, who was of course my step-mother.
Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son;
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too.
Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it, nearly drives me wild!
Because now I have become the strangest case you ever saw -
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.
I’m my own grandpa,
I’m my own grandpa,
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so, but
I’m my own grandpa.
Many, many years ago when I was 23
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be;
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.
This made my Dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
And now my daughter was my mother ‘cause she was my father’s wife;
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my Uncle, though it made me very sad…
For if he were my Uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter, who was of course my step-mother.
Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son;
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too.
Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it, nearly drives me wild!
Because now I have become the strangest case you ever saw -
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.
I’m my own grandpa,
I’m my own grandpa,
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so, but
I’m my own grandpa.
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring
The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana
He's breaking his grandpa's sacrolificat. - Archie Bunker
Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom
Leading your family is a lot tougher than basketball. - Giannis Antetokounmpo
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld
Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker
I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp
Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox
Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar
People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes
Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson
Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt
Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson
Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns
Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw
Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen
Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King
You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu
Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde
We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian
You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker
When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield
Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley
Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash
My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly
Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde
As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney
The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey
Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. - Jane Howard
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost
The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring
The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana
He's breaking his grandpa's sacrolificat. - Archie Bunker
Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom
Leading your family is a lot tougher than basketball. - Giannis Antetokounmpo
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld
Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker
I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp
Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox
Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar
People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes
Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson
Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt
Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld
What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson
Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns
Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw
Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen
If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit
I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen
Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King
You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu
Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde
We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian
You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker
When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield
Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley
Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash
My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly
Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde
As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney
The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey
Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. - Jane Howard
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost
The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey
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