#1 humor site on the 'net

Prairie Bear

Baling time on the farm

Prairie Bear thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Farmers are the salt of the earth. - Unknown

Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock

Human kind cannot bear very much reality. - T S Eliot

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Free men do not ask permission to bear arms. - Thomas Jefferson

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

He who cannot bear misfortune is truly unfortunate. - Greek Proverb

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing. - Bette Midler

A good farm is recognized as good partly by its beauty. - Wendell Berry

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

I drove a tractor almost as soon as I could reach the pedals. - Sheri L. Dew

The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch

Unless you bear with the faults of others, you betray your own. - Pubilius Syrus

It is often hard to bear the tears that we ourselves have caused. - Marcel Proust

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors. - Edward Dahlberg

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear. - Marcus Aurelius

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. - Will Rodgers

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

To be blind is not miserable; not to be able to bear blindness, that is miserable. - John Milton

Human beings can't bear silence. It would mean that they would bear themselves. - Pascal Mercier

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The chief aim of wisdom is to enable one to bear with the stupidity of the ignorant. - Winston Churchill

A bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he's talented, but he's not famous. - Kim Kardashian

Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. - Phillips Brooks

Put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead. - George Lucas

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Willingness to be puzzled is a valuable trait to cultivate, from childhood to advanced inquiry. - Noam Chomsky

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the Spring, who reaps a harvest in the Autumn. - B C Forbes

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that never happen. - James Russel Lowell

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that will never happen. - James Russell Lowell

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them. - Juvenal

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I adore art. When I am alone with my notes, my heart pounds and the tears stream from my eyes, and my emotion and my joys are too much to bear. - Guiseppe Verdi

The Cross! There, and there only though the deist rave, and the atheist, if Earth bears so base a slave; There and there only, is the power to save. - William Cowper


Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In