#1 humor site on the 'net

The Passing Lane

Graduating from washing hands

The Passing Lane thanks to Keith Blake

That's a load of 2020!

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean. - Zach Galifianakis

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

It is always good to know, if only in passing, charming human beings. It refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brooks. - George Eliot

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

You are no more exempt from time's inexorable passing than Macbeth. Whether time is your friend or foe depends on how you use it. - Patricia Fripp

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Spot The Surfer

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale

Husband of the Year

Child Disarma-meant

Ancient Greek Stormtrooper

Ferrous Wheel

Dese Are My Bebies

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Dog Kennel

Mom Posting

Flying is so Overrated

Too Short

Pinocchio Playground

Bike Bed

Hi, My Name's Cliff - Drop Over Some Time!

TP Kid

Soccer Overpass

Aussie Starter Fluid