#1 humor site on the 'net

On Its Last Legs

Me too, chair, me too

On Its Last Legs thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

People worry, and God smiles. - Hebrew Proverb

Rock Music: Sung in a rocking chair - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The legs are the wheels of creativity. - Albert Einstein

Adversity tests a man's true character. - Unknown

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Pessimism is the triumph of worry over matter. - Unknown

The solar system has no anxiety about its reputation. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist. - Paul Harvey

Fresh activity is the only means of overcoming adversity. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience. - Dilbert

Of all the things to worry about; the Wookie has no pants. - Mark Hamill

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

If you want to know if your brain is flabby, feel your legs. - Bruce Barton

It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs. - David Coleman

Don't use your energy to worry. Use your energy to believe. - Unknown

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Put your trust in the Lord and go ahead. Worry gets you no place. - Roy Acuff

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

When the situation is hopeless, there's nothing to worry about. - Edward Abbey

A pessimist is someone who makes difficulties of his opportunities. - Unknown

Friendship, of itself a holy tie, is made more sacred by adversity. - Charles C. Colton

Most of the things you worry about won't even happen, so relax. - Unknown

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. - Aesop

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. - Leo Buscaglia

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. - Kin Hubbard

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

Never worry about criticism from people you would never take advice from. - Unknown

Pessimists are not boring. Pessimists are right. Pessimists are superfluous. - Elias Canetti

I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs. - Frederick Douglass

They invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind legs. - Martin Caidin

Committee work is like a soft chair - easy to get into but hard to get out of. - Kenneth J Shively

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

There is not enough time in life to worry about there being enough time in life. - Atticus

The dead won't bother you. It's the living you've got to worry about. - John Wayne Gacy

I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart. - Alice Walker

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

Concentrate on what you're doing - then you won't have time to tense up and worry. - Unknown

I'm no different from anybody else with two arms, two legs, and forty-two hundred hits. - Pete Rose

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction. - Harry Ironside

Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act. - Howard Zinn

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill

Lord, if it's not your will, let it slip through my grasp. And give me the peace not to worry about it. - Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

I've always loved yoga because you get to connect to a deep religious truth while stretching your legs. - Katya Zamolodchikova

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader (realist) adjusts the sails. - John C Maxwell

Teach your daughter to worry less about fitting into the glass slippers and more about shattering the glass ceilings. - Unknown

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying. - Dale Carnegie

Adversity is sometimes hard upon a man; but for one man who can stand prosperity, there are a hundred that will stand adversity. - Elvis Presley

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. - Dale Carnegie


Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist

Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up