New Normal

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

I am not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha