New Menu Option

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

The state of Washington calls tips 'wages.' - Tom Douglas

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Sour Kraut: Unhappy with the fare in the Berlin restaurant - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen

You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Patriotic American: One who never orders from a menu anything he can't pronounce - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Flops are a part of life's menu and I've never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses. - Rosalind Russell

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Servers make very little in regular wages and largely rely on tips to pay the bills and budget for weeks ahead. - Kevin McCarthy

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

Cannibal: 1. One who is fed up with people; 2. A person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter; 3. One who loves his fellow man with gravy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com