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Monster House

Guaranteed to keep away trick or treaters

Monster House thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

When is a monster not a monster? When you love it. - Caitlyn Siehl

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

O beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on. - William Shakespeare

What a chimera then is man. What a novelty! What a monster... what a contradiction, what a prodigy. - Blaise Pascal

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules H Poincare

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan


Redneck Fire Alarm

Camel Photobomb

One

Amish Smart Car

This Rocks

Arch Support

Tired Of Snow

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea

World Peas

Tired Truck

Harmacy

Redneck Cotter Pin

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Guitar Scooter

1947 X-ray Machine

Grouchy German

Knock Hard

Economy Flight Plan

Canadian Car Crash

Recipe Holder

Seuss Army Knife

Dustpan Waterfall

Pita Pan

Drum Kit Chandelier