Merry Catmas

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

First Aid Kit: A cat that works for the Red Cross. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Skunk: 1. A streamlined cat with a 2-tone finish and a fluid drive; 2. A community scenter. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen