#1 humor site on the 'net

Measure Twice, Cut Once

Not quite on the cutting edge

Measure Twice, Cut Once thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Measure twice, cut once. - Craftsman Aphorism

Dancing is silent poetry. - Simonides

Life is brief, art is long. - Hippocrates

Art is the signature of civilizations. - Beverly Sills

The artist in me cries out for design. - Robert Frost

Art is anything you can get away with. - Marshall McLuhan

The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott

What an artist the world is losing in me. - Nero

We can choose to hate the rain or dance in it. - Joan Marques

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

The true art of memory is the art of attention. - Samuel Johnson

Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence. - Joseph Krutch

I should not believe in a God who does not dance. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook. - William James

Ballet is good, because it makes you stand up tall. - Carine Roitfeld

The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. - Albert Einstein

The art of being a slave is to rule one's master. - Diogenes

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals. - Charles Baudelaire

Works of art make rules; rules do not make works of art. - Claude Debussy

Nothing burns more calories than dancing in 5-inch heels. - Ariana Grande

The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have. - Unknown

Measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him. - Unknown

The measure of a life is not its duration but its donation. - Corrie Ten Boom

We need a leader that wrote "The Art of the Deal". - Donald Trump

They couldn't find the artist, so they hung the picture. - Unknown

Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. - Marshall McLuhan

There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. - Vicki Baum

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman

Art doesn't reproduce the visible but rather makes it visible. - Paul Klee

How a society treats its disabled is the true measure of a civilization. - Chen Guangcheng

There are moments when Art almost attains to the dignity of manual labor. - Oscar Wilde

Just because you can measure everything doesn't mean that you should. - W Edward Deming

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. - Samuel Butler

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul. - George Bernard Shaw

We dance in a circle and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows. - Robert Frost

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Art is so wonderfully irrational, exuberantly pointless, but necessary all the same. - Gunter Grass

The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions which have been hidden by the answers. - James Baldwin

There's no one way to dance. And that's kind of my philosophy about everything. - Ellen Degeneres

The dance: a minimum of explanation, a minimum of anecdotes, and a maximum of sensations. - Maurice Bejart

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

I have discovered the art of fooling diplomats. I speak the truth, and they never believe me. - Camillo Di Cavour

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

The mission of the artist in an over-technologized society, is to call the old magic back to life. - Tom Robbins

The art of storytelling is reaching its end because the epic slice of truth, wisdom, is dying out. - Walter Benjamin

The most important measure of how good a game I played was how much better I'd made my teammates play. - Bill Russell

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. - Steven Wright

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. - Frederic Amiel

Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn't make me stronger. - Lou Holtz

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

When it began, cubism was a sort of analysis, which was no more painting than the description of physical phenomena was physics. - Juan Gris

The greatest achievement of humanity is not its works of art, science, or technology, but the recognition of its own dysfunction. - Eckhart Tolle

The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year. - John Foster Dulles

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. - Bob Hope

Art begins with resistance - at the point where resistance is overcome. No human masterpiece has ever been created without great labor. - Andre Gide

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Art owes its origin to nature. This beautiful creation supplied the first model, while the original teacher was that divine intelligence. - Giorgio Vasari

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles


I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast

'Do Not Read' Sign

Underground Stairway

Arsenic Wafers

Breaker Bypass

Flintstone Drum Set

Cautious Ball Crossing

Added Ingredients

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Horse Photobomb

Counter Fitter

Good As New

One Way Repairs

Bouncing Checks

Vertical Diggers

Motorcycle Grind

Handicap Porch

Tip Generator

Waiting For Windows To Boot

So Close

Pork Chops

Brazilian Covid

Nothing Wrong Picture

Cook Ring