#1 humor site on the 'net

Maternity Ward

When push comes to shove

Maternity Ward thanks to Misty Glisson

If the shoe fits, wear it...

QuotaBills
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


Ice Cream Rose

Wedding Pound Cake

Parking Justice

Is This Really Happening?!

The Explanation

High Strung Violinist

Deodorized Pads

Leteracy Night

Redneck Baby Carriage

Stealth Readers

Good Stuff Or Else

Productive Computers

Poodle Power

Trust Issues

Bacon Soda Sales

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

My Time

Lerts

Great White Socks

That's Not A Bagpipe!

Paint Protection

Balanced Writer

Jolly Good Recovery

Tylenol Ban