Make America Sick Again

That virus is a pussycat. - Peter Duesberg

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

IN GOD WE TRUST: All others we virus scan - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. - Maya Angelou

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

We can't predict what a virus we've never seen will do. - Marc Lipsitch

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus. - Joshua Lederberg

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart