Make America Sick Again

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus. - Joshua Lederberg

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart