#1 humor site on the 'net

Library Closed

Until opening time

Library Closed thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Book Of Ecclesiasticles - Archie Bunker

Book lovers never go to bed alone. - Unknown

The legs are the wheels of creativity. - Albert Einstein

Wear the old coat and buy the new book. - Austin Phelps

Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

In the end, we'll all become stories. - Margaret Atwood

The covers of this book are too far apart. - Ambrose Bierce

The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. - Sylvia Plath

Reading can seriously damage your ignorance. - Unknown

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers

Preface: That part of a book which is never read. - Unknown

A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something. - Frank Capra

If you think you have it tough, read history books. - Bill Maher

The first lesson reading teaches is how to be alone. - Jonathan Franzen

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. - Steven Wright

There is creative reading as well as creative writing. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you read the riot act, be prepared to enforce it. - Saying

In the book of life, the answers aren't on the back. - Charlie Brown

Not all the news that's fit to print is fit to read. - Unknown

Everything comes to him who waits. Except a loaned book. - Kin Hubbard

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Every novel should have a beginning, a muddle, and an end. - Peter De Vries

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? - Steven Wright

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world. - Malala Yousafzai

In some areas I am more noted for reading then I am for cookies. - Wally Amos

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

Show me where Stalin is born, and I'll show you a communist plot. - George S. Kaufman

I don't discriminate against sushi. It's all good in my book. - Billy Horschel

There is no surer way to misread any document than to read it literally. - Learned Hand

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free. - John Barrymore

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing about. - Benjamin Franklin

The best leaders are the most dedicated learners. Read great books daily. - Robin Sharma

I have never known any distress that an hour's reading did not relieve. - Charles de Montesquieu

Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. - Francis Bacon

You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me. - C S Lewis

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. - Ernest Hemingway

The most important part of a story is the ending. No one reads a book to get to the middle. - Mickey Spillane

All the days ordained for me
Were written in your book
Before one of them came to be. - Psalms 139:16

I've written 17 novels, and I've found out that fiction can't keep up with real life. - John Grisham

Anyone who says businessmen deal in facts, not fiction, has never read old five-year projections. - Malcolm Forbes

If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read an write, everyone would limp and stutter. - Mark Twain

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature. - Ernest Hemingway

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' - Steven Wright

Novels that leave out technology misrepresent life as badly as Victorians misrepresented life by leaving out sex. - Kurt Vonnegut

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

Life is like an overlong drama through which we sit being nagged by the vague memories of having read the reviews. - John Updike

Book: A depository of knowledge which a student will try to stay awake long enough to read the night before finals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I met a man at a party. He said, "I'm writing a novel." I said, "Oh, really? Neither am I." - Peter Cook

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. - Sigmund Freud

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. - Gore Vidal

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?" - Joseph Heller

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet. - Randy Pausch

No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally - and often far more - worth reading at the age of fifty and beyond. - C S Lewis

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey


Hazards of Nose Picking

Mandela Perspective

I Want It All

Squid Squash

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Portrait Gallery

Boot Dog

Laundry Done

Rabbit Boost

Coke's Special Ingredients

Nanosecond Moments

Giraffic Park

Wine Karaoke

Other Door

Mistake Variations

Yoga Wine

Ukraine Skype

How To Cook A Deer

Colsed School

Moon Harvest

Peregrine Falcon

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Wedding

Cruise Bikini