#1 humor site on the 'net

Ladies Choice

Meet me at the corner of College or Husband

Ladies Choice thanks to Mona Fraley

QuotaBills
Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on. - Fred Allen

Trim Figures: What women do when they tell their age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When the devil finds a lazy woman, he puts her to work. - Russian Proverb

Trust no friend without faults, and love a woman, but no angel. - Doris Lessing

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Harem: A community of women who subscribe to a circulating husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Market: 1. Three women and a goose; 2. What teachers do to homework. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Mark Twain

On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. - Christopher Morley

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction. - Virginia Woolf

An individual's fate is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. - Unknown

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

We have every right to make choices, but no right to choose the consequences. - Anne G. Lotz

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Co-Operation: An exchange between a woman and a man in which she coos and he operates - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

First women subtract from their age, then they divide it, and then they extract its square root. - Unknown

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world... but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. - John Green

In the choice between changing one's mind and proving there's no need to do so, most people get busy on the proof. - John Kenneth Galbraith

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

There's something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. - R G Moon

If you are really Master of your Fate,
It shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate. - Ogden Nash

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson


Elephant Bus

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot

Restroom Fragrance

Word Puzzle Clock

Scenic Western Pennsylvania

Free Nobel Peace Prize

Teach Our Children Well

Stair Substitute

Solar System Watch