#1 humor site on the 'net

If 2020 Was A Car

Car designs stranger than fiction

If 2020 Was A Car thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Luck is the residue of design. - Branch Rickey

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Weird is a side-effect of awesome. - Unknown

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S Thompson

You stand out more by being weird than fitting in. - Emma Tupa

Is that weird, taking my Louis Vuitton bag camping? - Jessica Simpson

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo. - Mark Twain

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past. - Charles J Givens

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Design is about discipline and reality, not about fantasy beyond reality. - Albert Hadley

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I can't stop moving. I'm like this weird insect. I can't sit still in real life. - Robin Wright

The key to making things affordable is design and technology improvements, as well as scale. - Elon Musk

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

When a man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal in a very narrow compass. - Sir Richard Steele

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

In a weird kind of way, music has afforded me an idealism and perfectionism that I could never attain as me. - Billy Corgan

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day, two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love. - Dr. Seuss

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

How much more grand is the work of our Heavenly Father as he pulls together all the varied strands of life to reveal his grand design? - Ravi Zacharias

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Catfish Noodling

I'm A Believer

Sewing Sculpture

Greatest Italian Riders

Batman Recession

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

About Grandparents

Split Personality Ad

Happy Bithday

Back 2 School Savings

Redneck Wine Dispenser

Balloon Advertising for Exploding Results

Cowboy Baby Carrier

Make Womb For Baby

Turtle Truck

Zipper Building

Hobo Facebook

Cart Man - Biker To The Rescue

'I Look Like My Dog' Contest

Employee Happiness Kit

Back To School Supplies

Pigeon Target Practice

Autumn Tree

Motorcycle Enforcement in Japan