#1 humor site on the 'net

Huge Halibut

326 pound halibut caught in Alaska

Huge Halibut thanks to Cody Gardner

Putting things in perspective

Each time Cody tells this story, the fish gets bigger...

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Sushi Vendor: A sell-fish guy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

He fishes well who uses a golden hook. - Latin Proverb

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait. - Jose Simon

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Yard: Unit of measurement. In angling, 17 inches. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain

For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If you were to make little fishes talk, they would talk like whales. - Oliver Goldsmith

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

Any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming. - John Steinbeck

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it. - Thomas Jefferson

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

Fishing is not like billiards, in which it is possible to attain a disgusting perfection. - Arthur Ransome

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Pupkin Carving

Spooky Halloween House

Halloween Clouds

Eye Do

Halloween Pit Bull

Halloween Birth

Broom Size

Hobbit Halloween

Halloween Pie

Just Two Buddies Hanging Out

Jewbacca

Colour Wheel

Halloween Driver Costume

Book Cover Pumpkin

Cabin Illusion

Here Comes Baby

The Official Flag of 2020

Redneck DoorBells

Prison Olympics - Razor Wire High Jumping

Afghan Livestock Management

Elephant Hand

Venice on a Shoestring Budget

New Truck Key

Spiderman's Car