#1 humor site on the 'net

How To Enforce Social Distancing

Wanting isolation from flatulent people

How To Enforce Social Distancing thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Each day has a color, a smell. - Chitra B. Divakaruni

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. - Apocalypse Now

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. - French Proverb

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

The best smell in the world is that man that you love. - Jennifer Aniston

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

He's better at smelling rotten eggs than at laying good ones. - Unknown

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it. - Rudyard Kipling

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Hens do cackle loudest when there's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid. - Ambrose Bierce

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. - Robert Byrne

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. - H L Mencken

It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. - Casablanca

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast

Motorcycle Campers

Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie

Wheelchair Mower

How To Fail at Photoshopping Pictures

Life Expectancy by Age

Construction Clouds

It's Been A Good Day