Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

We hold these semi-animal meetings. - Archie Bunker

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? - George Carlin

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard Shaw

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? - George Carlin

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

Often, the human animal dresses terror in rage, and expresses both in a way unlike either. - Julius Lester

I'm an inveterate fox and not a hedgehog, so I always think you should try everything. - Clifford Geertz

A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. - Marjorie Johnson

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

There are a lot of things I learned from animals. One was that they couldn't hiss or boo me. - James Dean

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. - Homer Simpson

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. - Oscar Wilde

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway