#1 humor site on the 'net

Happy St. Patrick's Day 2020

Ireland prepares for the flu pandemic

Happy St. Patrick's Day 2020 thanks to Keith Blake

Ireland closes all pubs and bars amid coronavirus pandemic

QuotaBills
Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Germ: A little bug with influence - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds. - Oscar Wilde

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus. - Joshua Lederberg

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

Viral marketing is almost like finding love. You have to stop doing it to actually make it happen. - Tim Topham

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin


Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church