Giant Grasshopper

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

He who has no falcon must hunt with an owl. - Danish Proverb

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

To hunt successfully, you must know your ground, your pack, and your quarry. - K J Parker

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. - Marie Curie

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway