#1 humor site on the 'net

Free Therapy

Look no further for expert advice

Free Therapy thanks to Chris Kane

QuotaBills
Sickness soaks the purse. - International Proverb

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Whatever your advice, make it brief. - Horace

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

I always advise people never to give advice. - P G Wodehouse

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. - Aesop

One can give advice comfortably from a safe port. - Johann Von Schiller

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it. - Syrus

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

Advice is like kissing: it costs nothing and is a pleasant thing to do. - H.W. Shaw

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that's no reason not to give it. - Agatha Christie

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S Truman

"Quit now, you'll never make it." If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there. - David Zucker

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain. - C S Lewis

The more pain that's referenced or implied, the deeper the laugh can be because the laughter heals the pain. - Mimi Kennedy

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total stranger. - Lindsey Stewart

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield


Harrison Ford

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Tower of Pisa Restorer

Glamour Training

What Did She Say?

I'm Here!

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign

Tooth Ferry

Snail On The Run

Quarantine Response

Mistake Variations

Wood Not Be Safe

Junkyard Art

Advice for the Cat

Life Is Like Photography

Baptised Trespassers

European Men - History Timeline

Raxe