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When good Americans die they go to Paris. - Oscar Wilde

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

There are no American infidels in Baghdad. - Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland. - Margaret Mahy

I'm as single as a slice of American cheese. - Nick Cannon

I came along when the black American needed an image. - Jesse Owens

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

Americans love popcorn, and their love doesn't quit. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

U.S. history - that's part of your whole American heresy. - Archie Bunker

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

The hyphen, that's the most un-American thing in the world. - Woodrow Wilson

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. - H L Mencken

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

The most important question in American cinema is "When is lunch?" - Tommy Lee Jones

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

The problem is that Americans care more about saving whales than saving males. - Warren Farrell

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. - P.T. Barnum

Are you Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference between you chaps. - Prince Philip

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them. - George Bernard Shaw

Patriotic American: One who never orders from a menu anything he can't pronounce - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I do know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. - Ernest Hemingway

The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. - George Carlin

That's what Columbus said to the Indians just before he gypped 'em out of Manhattan. - Archie Bunker

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

Few Indians only had breech cloths, most being wrapped in buffalo robes, otherwise quite naked. - Zebulon Pike

Indian people, we are proud of our cheapness. You are never gonna insult us by calling us cheap. - Russell Peters

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

Americans should not go abroad to slay dragons they do not understand in the name of spreading democracy. - John Quincy Adams

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions. - George Carlin

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God. - Erica Jong

Americans still believe in an America where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do. - Barack Obama

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. - Benjamin Franklin

Fischer, the great American chess champion, famously said, 'Chess is life.' I would say, 'Pi is life.' - Daniel Tammet

I have never had to face anything that could overwhelm the native optimism and stubborn perseverance I was blessed with. - Sonia Sotomayor

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

If Aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans. - Stephen Hawking

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher


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