For Americans

When good Americans die they go to Paris. - Oscar Wilde

Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland. - Margaret Mahy

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

I came along when the black American needed an image. - Jesse Owens

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense. - Ed Howe

Americans love popcorn, and their love doesn't quit. - Rosecrans Baldwin

You can't have all chiefs; you gotta have Indians too. - American Proverb

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

The American Way of life, si! The American Way of death, no! - Archie Bunker

U.S. history - that's part of your whole American heresy. - Archie Bunker

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. - Homer Simpson

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Communism has defeated itself everywhere except in American colleges. - Paul Harvey

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. - Miles Kington

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. - H L Mencken

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

The most important question in American cinema is "When is lunch?" - Tommy Lee Jones

The problem is that Americans care more about saving whales than saving males. - Warren Farrell

Are you Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference between you chaps. - Prince Philip

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them. - George Bernard Shaw

Patriotic American: One who never orders from a menu anything he can't pronounce - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. - Ernest Hemingway

The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. - George Carlin

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Indian people, we are proud of our cheapness. You are never gonna insult us by calling us cheap. - Russell Peters

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

Every American should have above average income, and my administration is going to see they get it. - Bill Clinton

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

A truly American sentiment recognizes the dignity of labor and the fact that honor lies in honest toil. - Grover Cleveland

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God. - Erica Jong

They're picking bananas in Brazil and them Indians down there, they don't care about what you look like. - Archie Bunker

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. - Benjamin Franklin

Fischer, the great American chess champion, famously said, 'Chess is life.' I would say, 'Pi is life.' - Daniel Tammet

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. - Gore Vidal

I have never had to face anything that could overwhelm the native optimism and stubborn perseverance I was blessed with. - Sonia Sotomayor

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger

If Aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans. - Stephen Hawking

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford