#1 humor site on the 'net

Florida Invitation

People are dying to visit the Sunshine State

Florida Invitation thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
What we live by we die by. - Robert Frost

If you give up your dreams, you die. - Flashdance

It is better to live rich than die rich. - Samuel Johnson

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard. - Phyllis Diller

No operatic star has yet died soon enough for me. - Thomas Beecham

Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic. - W H Auden

If it weren't for the olive, I'd starve to death. - Unknown

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

If we do not know about life, how can we know about death? - Confucius

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. - Emiliano Zapata

What pity is it that we can die but once to serve our country. - Joseph Addison

If Roosevelt were alive today, he'd turn over in his grave. - Samuel Goldwyn

In truth,there was only one christian and he died on the cross. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

For thirty years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died. - George Burns

Never chase a lie. Let it alone, and it will run itself to death. - Lyman Beecher

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions. - Joe-kster

I preach as never sure to preach again, and as a dying man to dying men. - Richard Baxter

Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die - Ray Norda

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. - Malachy McCourt

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

Opera: where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. - Robert Benchley

Many people's tombstones should read: 'Died at 30. Buried at 60.' - Nicholas M Butler

Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them - but not for love. - William Shakespeare

Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. - Mark Twain

The greatest thing in life is to die young - but delay it as long as possible. - George Bernard Shaw

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain

The general outlook is not that the person has died but that the person has lived. - William Buchanan

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

If the rich could pay people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. - Yiddish Proverb

Death is the last enemy; once we've got past that I think everything will be all right. - Alice Thomas Ellis

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age. - George Burns

Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. - William Saroyan

Most God-ordained dreams die because we are not willing to do something that seems illogical. - Mark Batterson

I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction. - Mark Twain

There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and nothing worth killing for. - Tom Robbins

If men could see the epitaphs their friends write they would believe they had got into the wrong grave. - American Proverb

When you reach the stars, boy, yes, and live there forever, all the fears will go, and Death himself will die. - Ray Bradbury

Philanthropy without scale and sustainability is like any other bad business that will simply wither and die on the vine. - Naveen Jain

Until I die, I'm going to keep doing. My people need me. They need somebody that's not taking from them and is giving them something. - Clara McBride Hale


A Beautiful Message About Growing Old

Ice Cream Rose

Wedding Pound Cake

Parking Justice

Is This Really Happening?!

The Explanation

High Strung Violinist

Deodorized Pads

Leteracy Night

Redneck Baby Carriage

Stealth Readers

Good Stuff Or Else

Productive Computers

Poodle Power

Trust Issues

Bacon Soda Sales

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

My Time

Lerts

Great White Socks

That's Not A Bagpipe!

Paint Protection

Balanced Writer

Jolly Good Recovery