Flatten The Curve

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Nothing burns more calories than dancing in 5-inch heels. - Ariana Grande

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! - Demetri Martin

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings

Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso